thaklos
wrote about Scary Movie
I don't hate this movie just because it is terrible, I hate it for the burgeoning Wayans empire that it has helped to inflict upon cinema.
I hope someone got paid a lot of money to make this movie, because then at least one person will be happy.
thaklos
wrote about Mamma Mia! The Movie
This movie is gratingly unwatchable, Streep is channelling crazy while everyone else seems set to die from boredom.
thaklos
wrote about xXx: The Next Level
I appreciate Jackson's willingness to make the best of literally any project that comes his way.
If only all of this edge, pun totally intended, could have been applied to a better concept.
thaklos
wrote about Wild Speed X2
This is a great example of how the studio had no idea what made the first movie popular.
thaklos
wrote about Transporter 2
A graceful step down from the mediocrity that was The Transporter.
thaklos
wrote about Battle: Los Angeles
This film starts off mediocre and descends to laughably bad. I was surprised by how wholly unemotional the characters are, and what a unexamined advertisement it manages to be for the marines. I wouldn't recommend this film.
thaklos
wrote about I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
This is a pretentious film adapted from Max's written works. His 'biographical' protagonist leads a host of flat characters who pontificate at length with cringe inducing dialogue. There are moments of wit and insight, but the characters are inconsistent and incomplete. Bradford alone is charismatic, when he isn't hampered by atrocious writing. The ethos of the film's finale contradicts the rest of the film, and exemplifies the poor film making seen throughout.
thaklos
wrote about The Flintstones
Wonderfully cast if the intent was to make an excruciatingly annoying movie.
thaklos
wrote about The Scorpion King
Movies featuring The Rock have a lot of unintentional humour, but that doesn't make this a good film.
thaklos
wrote about The Postman
Costner oozes sincerity without shame.
thaklos
wrote about Miami Vice
If this film was half as cool as it thinks it is it might be watchable, but as things stand it just hits you with the same dull montages again and again.
thaklos
wrote about Going the Distance
Abysmally banal, the small redemptions that this film manages to find are in minor characters and one off jokes that can do nothing to stem the tide of nausea brought on by the overall emptiness of the entire affair.
thaklos
wrote about Friends with Benefits
This film offers nothing new, and worse yet is eminently aware that it is offering nothing new. Kunis and Timberlake are both strong, charismatic actors, and the cameos by Harrelson, Segel, and others are welcome, but in the end this is a storyline that has been done time and time again, approached from an obvious angle with little to no ambition. I want desperately to find something in the wasteland of romantic comedies worth loving, and am saddened by the banal movies like this one.
thaklos
wrote about Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Empty caricatures deliver a narrative that unflatteringly apes the first Transformers, but Bay has exchanged novelty for wing suits. I had to stifle a giggle every time the characters broke out into a sudden fit of blithering exposition in a lame attempt to justify the next action sequence. Faults aside, at this point is is clear that audiences will flock to a Transformers film regardless of its merit so long as it features an attractive female and monotonous action.
thaklos
wrote about The Mechanic
Startlingly unambitious, The Mechanic delivers a smorgasbord of content it is sure will play well to the twenty something action fan without consideration for style or story. Foster attempts to inject a little pathos into his role, but with Statham doing his best impression of a brick wall he doesn't find any traction. I don't think it costs more money to make a better film, which makes me wonder why anyone would choose to create such unconsidered tripe.
thaklos
wrote about Essential Killing
This film's opening is promising, but after the first third it decides to spend its time addressing the metaphorical implications of misplacement and trees instead of moving forward with the narrative. The director may have some interesting ideas embedded in the latter half of the film, but it is so mind numbingly boring that I was personally unable to engage with them.
thaklos
wrote about Coco avant Chanel
This film's elegance does not make up for its glacial pacing and lifeless characters. The acting is acceptable, unfortunately it is employed in a cruelly uninspiring film. Tautou's Coco does not engender sympathy, nor is the path she takes particularly engaging, which ultimately leads to a disappointing film that captures some of the more languid elements of what I can only hope was a more interesting life.
thaklos
wrote about Tron Legacy
This is a movie that didn't need to be made about a conflict that is difficult to care about featuring characters peripherally related to a franchise better left forgotten. The script is a mess, the characters are almost impossible to relate to, and the core metaphor is dated to the point of irrelevance, which leaves a very pretty and relatively well scored waste of time. It would be nice to see Disney invest in something as "daring" as the original Tron rather than this film.